Fliers(ing)! or Brrrrrrrr!

2018 11 23
2018 11 30

Working downtown Grand Rapids again.

Distributing fliers to every storefront, restaurant, bar, hotel, everything downtown.  Probably delivering well over 2000 of ’em.  That is a LOT of interaction between me and the rest of the (my) world.

Can’t get much more OUT there than that!

The people have been rather nice.  Even when I went in to a barbershop FULL of guys.  Had to have been twenty of them in there.  Went up to a barber at his chair,  he was covered in tats.  I asked like I do in all the places if I could leave some fliers.  He agreed, reaching out.  I placed them in his hand.  I got some stares there, a total looking over.  Probably the closest they ever got to “T” —–  That They Know Of.  Because T people have been with civilization since the beginning of time.  The others just didn’t notice.

No critique quite like going out in the midst of the real world and interacting.

I love doing that.  Pushing the limits, my limits anyway.

But it was COLD!!!! From the tips of my toes. Even women’s dress boots let the feet get old. But aren’t as comfortable for walking as these heels. Flats? No way!

Fashion has a price.

And then to a club.

And another club and another outfit!




Such (cold) Fun!
Billie Anne Jean

Blazing Love

2018 11 30
I love this blazer. From GWs. $5.99!

It is 25degf outside an even though I am “fully dressed” and at the other end of the building, every time that front door opens I can feel the cold air waft in on my arms. But I LOVE the look!!!!!






Even more so, I can feel that cold wave of air wafting in on my feet, well the top anyway, and my legs all the way up ^

Skirt $2.99 from GWs.

Four crisscrossed strap Mary Janes $6.00 from,,,,,,,, you guessed it! GWs.

Hat $1.99 from Charlotte Russe!

The FUN of it? Priceless!

(You CAN do this on a budget!)

My coach always told me I had long legs but until I started using them to advantage (if that is the case) I never realized it (or talked myself in to falsely believing so).

So get OUT there and try different poses.

Such Fun!!!!
Billie Anne Jean


Doing The Wooly Bully

Doing The Wooly Bully
2018 11 30

You are too young to remember that.  The Wooly Bully.  (Maybe not Cassidy though).

“Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully
Hatty told Matty, let’s don’t take no chance……”

As for the big horns and the wooly jaw? The far right hasn’t exactly said that but the fear mongering of nonconforming is real.


Another outfit. Number two for the day of walking all over Grand Rapids (hence the flats) distributing fliers to all the stores, restaurants, service business. 25degf outside! BRRRR!!!!

One was a barbershop. I trucked right in there and asked the first barber if I could leave some fliers there. Meanwhile I was scrutinized by thirty or so guys.  No one was looking at their magazines.  Bet that is the closest they get to what the far right says is so terrifying!

It was 25degf outside and a wool skirt suit is as warm as it can get in something fem. No, I don’t do pants. (BUT I will be posting pictures of myself in something totally different for me in about a month, not pants but with legs. All new ground for me.)

My closet has gotten so full that I have stopped buying anything unless it is cheap, requires no repairs/alterations/work, and is unique. Must meet all of those and complete something I already have, or be complete in it’s own right.



This skirt suit is wool herringbone and fits perfectly. It was $5.99 at GWs. I liked the relatively modest look and it fits perfectly requiring no work. Relatively modest because there are four slits at the hem that are kinda cute/sexy. And the no repairs? Shortly after I began these pictures a button popped off. LOL

Such Fun!
Billie Anne Jean


Something’s Missing!

2018 11 20

I couldn’t believe it when I found this dress!!!!!  It is lace over a strapless bodycon inner dress.  That inner dress is like EXACTLY my measurements with nothing to spare.  It even has molded cups in the liner and the lace.  It fits me like a glove.  AND it sparkles!

This is an EXPENSIVE dress!  To find it with made for me measurements AND off the rack!?!?!  How often does that happen GF?

The rack?  Goodwill.  $5.99!  (Screams of ecstasy!)



Now you look at that picture and everything looks kinda usual.  Unless you get close and see the molded cups.  First time I ever wore anything like that.

BUT there is more!



The shoes.  You wouldn’t guess from the above that there is something unusual about them.  But there is!

Still can’t see it?

Now you can.

Such Fun!

I have given up on first nation summer!

Or standing in the snowfall in a skirt and heels.
2018 11 18

Most of the times when I go out in public someone will approach me and ask questions. Polite but probing. About the T in LGBTQ. Each time I do my best to help clear away any misconceptions they may have. Usually I get them to understand that the L and the G and the B and the T and the Q have been around since the beginning of mankind. I ask them if they had ever experienced a “problem”. Then I suggest to them that it has already been proven to them that there is NO problem. It is just a scare tactic to maintain control of those willing to give away self determination to others willing to do whatever it takes to gain control.

I was OUT again at work in downtown Grand Rapids. I will be working regularly through the winter right out there in the general population.

Thursday I went to lunch. One Stop Coney on Fulton. The best burger and fries in Grand Rapids!

It was snowing.  That is what the white streaks are.

It is so nice to have a full tummy while having…………….

Gotta do something about my inadequate shoe closet space.  They are bustin outta there!



2018 11 10

I am having more fun with this than I ever thought possible. I am happier than I ever thought possible.  There is one aspect of my life that I could do without.  That one aspect is usually completely overshadowed by the most important part of my life, my wife.

My relationship with my beloved SO is better than I could have ever hoped for. I would do ANYTHING for her.

Inside I am the gender of my choice, with a bit of escape thrown into a battle because of what time has done to me.

Society and culture made my life the way they wanted it. Cancer, the meds, a huge weight loss, changed my body and maybe a part of my personality in a completely different way. I had no control. It wasn’t my choice. My physical shape changed. I grew boobs. Hips. I was humiliated. I was living in a body that didn’t match my brain. I was severely depressed. Then I discovered CDing and a way to make the inner me fit the outer me. I took the pain and made the disconnect fun.

My way of transitioning. Think of it as F-M. I am 85% male. Ever so often I receive a mean comment because I am “not trans enough”, “not really trans”. I wonder how they would feel if they were in a limbo with a dark cloud threatening to take their life away? How much pain and depression is necessary to qualify?

I am savoring life more in each moment I have left. Cancer is a shadow in a survivors life. This body has tried to become my enemy. I have found a way to deal with it.

I just had another cancer checkup.  Life is in six month intervals.  “Safe” i always historical.  They can tell me that I have been mostly cancer free for the last six months.  They cn’t tell me what the next six months means.,  I have to wait till the next test to see if I was OK the previous months.  Freedom from this is on hold until six months from now when I may find out that I should have realized I was free.  Life six months at a time.

But when I am Billie I can escape in to a new me free from all that.  And I get to make people smile.  People know me. Every time I go OUT I run in to someone I have met while working. Often multiple times a day. No wonder since I have been to every office and store in downtown Grand Rapids, plus Wealthy, Lake, and Cherry. And between now and spring I will be doing it again X 3!

I LOVE this!

I have NO IDEA how this magic camera works but I REALLY like the results.

On my way back to the office after lunch. Downtown Grand Rapids. OUT in the real world.

It isn’t easy but if I try hard enough and convince myself I can make it…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

BillieAnne Jean

Halloween, the bestest holiday of all


What a wonderful holiday!

Nothing to buy, no big meals to prepare.  No decorating.  No whole house cleaning to be done.  Heck, the cobwebs, dust bunnies, dead flies, whatever is in your house can stay and add to the festivities.

I LOVE Halloween!  It is the perfect holiday.

But it is kind of sad when the holiday falls mid week.  The bars and clubs in Grand Rapids haven’t caught on that regardless of the day, even a work day, if it is Halloween then the people want to party.

On Saturday the 27th, the bar sanctioned Halloween event date, we did “Just Wicked” at the Marriott.  Usually a few hundred people are there.  Sad that the Douglas parade, the BOB party, pretty much everywhere also had their events on Saturday October 27th.  If even ONE venue had something on the 26th then a real Halloween aficionado could do three events.  October 26th Friday, October 27th Saturday, and October 31st Wednesday.  But NO, this year, instead of Friday like last year, Just Wicked was on Saturday just like everything else.

I wore an actual woman’s Halloween costume.  I love them!  Usually a short and full skirt with a crinoline or petticoat for volume.  HUGE temperature differences from the torso to the legs.  Walking from our parking space near the Marriott, we went all the way to the Apartment to kill some time and enjoy the free popcorn with our drinks.  Then back to Just Wicked.  So about seven blocks each way.  In the 40s.  Windy.  I had a knee length somewhat light winter coat on.  The coat has a full skirt.  Breezy.  By the time I got to my destination at either location I was cold.  From the thighs down I was FREEZING.

Just wicked is crowded.  But generally the people are nice.  I was pleased that all but two of the people from “the Group” I founded stopped by to say HI to me.  They were very nice.  Sad that they got swept up in the treachery.  The remainder were two I would say I’d rather not even be in the same room with.  I know we were having fun on our side of the ballroom.  Those watching the Minnie Mouse character twirl didn’t look like they were having much fun on the other side of the ballroom. 

So nothing of note on the Friday before Halloween.  Nothing of note Sunday.  Certainly nothing Monday or Tuesday.  But at least we had the actual 31st even if it was a Wednesday!

As evidence of the demand, last night, Wednesday the 31st there was about a hundred people waiting to get in to Mojo’s.  The Apartment was packed.  People in regular clothes and people in costume.  With local flavor, if you know what I mean. 

So my quandary was what to wear for my Wednesday OUT?  Do I have lunch, hang out a bit, and meet a friend at 3:00pm to play pool in a bar in regular clothes or in costume?  I decided that since Halloween is limited this year I was going to go for it.

Ready to head out the door.  Can’t find my roll of quarters to feed the parking meter.

So I went to a bank.  Had to wait quite a while to get a teller.  In this outfit. 

Which is a coat over this outfit.




She, the teller, was all smiles.  Really enjoying me.  Complimented me on my costume.  Then gave me a Halloween candy.  She was sweet.

At Billy’s Lounge I met a friend and we shot pool.  I had to be careful not to bend over.  HA!

A woman was in Billy’s with a substantial digital camera, a white camera, very noticeable.  She started taking pictures of us.  By the second shot she was asking if it was OK.  She took quite a few.  Some rather unusual angles to be sure.  Like my shoes, my cleavage, my stocking tops and garters.  Odd.  If it was a man taking them I would have reacted quite differently.  But she was so happy, enjoying our quirkiness, that I let her go.

I had her take some pictures with my camera too.  She did the same unusual angles.  I won’t post them on the internet because they are not glamorous.  But the regular style images she took for me are just fine.

Then off to dinner at a regular restaurant (a not gay or T oriented).  An older couple at a table we had to walk by smiled and the woman positively beamed!  The wait staff was welcoming.  The food OK.  The service was exemplary.

Rather than the boom booming noise at a club we went to The Apartment.  Packed.  They gave us free sodas and popcorn.  So I tipped the bartender five bucks.  When I asked him how much our drinks were as we were preparing to leave, he said they had taken care of us.  So I handed him a five.  He said “but the drinks are free.”  I still held out the five.  He said “Are you sure?”  I said ABSOLUTELY.

I had a great evening with a friend, a kind soul who found benefit from my company.  What could be a better Halloween treat than that?



No matter what, I m going to create my own……………………….

“Such Fun”!!!!!!!