2016 11 21
Are we in this together or not? Is the LGBTQ “community” ready to really ban together as one or are we going to try to navigate the treacherous waters ahead in separate groups?
And since that very first time, I have been aware that something is happening, not to me, but to those who see me.
This is my way of changing people’s perceptions of LGBTQ. By being OUT there and allowing the General Population to see me, as I am. To learn that they can have fun with me as I am. To learn that I am non threatening. That they can ask questions and receive polite answers.
So Friday I was in Woodland Mall by myself and a woman stopped me and asked me about myself. Then she began asking questions about trans and gay. Polite but curious. I answered her questions and engaged her. For 45 minutes! Turns out her brother in law was the reason she was asking. He is gay and is in a relationship with a trans person.
I may have helped two people I will never meet.
This happens a lot.
But even if I don’t get asked or am not engaged in a conversation, people see me and maybe they are a bit less intolerant, a bit more used to us.
We CAN fight back against tyranny (government oppression) and bigotry (oppression by fellow citizens) by living our lives as we want. But it certainly does help to be perceptive of the winds of change. For instance I can expect, based on experiences of the last four years, if I go OUT in the public presenting as a typical, but perhaps well dressed female, and behave in an appropriate manner to how I present, that I will receive little attention from the General Population (GPs). Now imagine that I was going OUT midst the GP wearing stripper wear. Now. In his political climate. Perhaps I might have been OK before, but likely not now.
I prefer to call this “blending” as opposed to “passing” as very few of us really can pass ourselves off as a woman. I certainly can’t But I can blend in and get by. It isn’t about beauty. It is about taking what you have to work with and creating an illusion which will buy you time to transit a person’s detection zone.
I don’t try to fool myself that people see me as a woman. I know I am not fooling anyone. But by working on my illusion, I can camouflage myself enough to blend in to the background. And by the time they figure it out, if they are that fast, I am far enough away to be more effort than they want to use.
In a restaurant, people are busy with their meals. It is a place of business. So the business does not want any customer to cause a disturbance. Dressing and behaving appropriately in the manner that classy women would do, pretty much guarantees us a pleasant experience. We all look appropriate and behave appropriately. But imagine how different it would be if one of us was dressed as a stripper. Or talked about their sex adventures or gutting their hunting catch in a voice loud enough for others to hear. Or their political convictions, religion, you name it.
I hope we can continue our activities. We have always been very selective of the places we go. Always been very careful of what we do. This will continue. Maybe even a bit more selective, careful, and blending.
But still showing we are having…………….
This dress, bolero jacket, hat, and coat came from GWs. My total investment for them was about $20.00. I want to emphasize that with a bit of patience you can acquire a decent wardrobe on a budget. The red sash was leftover material from shortening a dress. The shoes were on sale at Shoe Carnival.
I liked this outfit so much that I did something I rarely do. I wore it all day right through clubbing. Even though I brought two changes with me.