Getting OUT!!!!

2016 09 30
I have been getting OUT a bit more regularly now that the major engine work is done in the boat and plane.  And since my dad died a month ago things have settled down.  But I have a huge backlog of photos.  What to do?  Hmmmmmmm………………?

The following are from our Grand Illusions regular monthly meeting called an IN meeting when we al stay IN a private place and can be ourselves.  CDers and adult trans only.  It is always a LOT of fun as we have some really great gals!

rsz_1dscn8571It amazes me when CDers come up with a thousand reasons why they can’t go OUT enfemme.  I go everywhere a typical woan would go.  I needed some soda, ice, and cups for our IN meeting so I stopped in the local Meijer.  It is like a Walmart but MUCH nicer and even cheaper.  And just about everything in tere is better quality.  AND there are actual employees to help you!

rsz_dscn8578I found this blazer at GWs for five bucks.  It is a linen fabric and with the coarse weave and off white color I just could NOT find a suitable skirt.  So I made this skirt with fabric I bought at Joann’s.  It has 37 panels and is almost 15′ around at the hem.

rsz_dscn8599Amy, Janet, Kayla, and I at The BOB.  This was during the band’s break.  Otherwise it was packed.  The GGs had a blast with us.  LOTS of compliments and we were in LOTS of their photos.  FUN!

 

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At The Apartent with AMY.  The outfit came from GWs except the shoes which were gray and I changed them to white.

 

 

The following are from our Grand Illusions regular monthly meeting called an OUTing when we all go OUT as a group.  It is always a LOT of fun as we have some really great gals!rsz_dscn8723_2

 

I am volunteering at ArtPrize.  This day I worked in the main giftshop.  Inside a BIG wall of windows for all the world to see!  Dress from GWs.

 

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The shoes were gray and the hat was white.  I recolored them.  BTW the shoes, hat, and color were less than twenty bucks.

 

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Coat from GWs.About eight bucks.

 

 

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I decided I wanted some bright red boots without the cost.  The boots ($6 from GWs) were black and the paint was left over from the shoes and hat.  The blazer was also GWs at $6 and the hat was $1.50!

rsz_dscn8765_2At The BOB club called H.O.M.E.  The five story building is called “The BOB” as in The Big Old Building.  Inside are a number of clubs, this one is called H.O.M.E.  Unfortunately the A/C is poor and it was inhuanely HOT in there.  So the new name is H.O.S.B  House of Sweating Bodies.

Feel free to leave comments on this blog.  You may also tell me if you prefer that your comments be private.  As the all powerful blogger I get to decide what shows up on the blog.  Compliments are appreciated.  Suggestions are encouraged.  Criticism will result in an army of minions beating down your door.  (Just kidding!)

You can also email me at
Crossdressers-wmi@hotmail.com

The Grand Illusions website is at:
http://www.crossdressersmichigan.com

SUCH FUN!

Billie

THE CURVE IN THE ROAD

2016 09 25

I miss my mother.  I have since I found out she died.  I was overseas when I found out.  Fortunately I stopped in at the nursing home where she was living on the way to the airport at the beginning of my trip and “visited” with her, as much as could be anyway.  She was only seventy years old.  She had a very rough life, in no small part due to my dad who abused just about everyone that cared about him.  I wept when I found out she had died.  I still mourn her.  I think about her regularly and wish to my core that I could tell her just once more how much I love her and appreciate all that she did for me.  I remember her voice.  I can remember her face.  It has been over a decade.

My dad died not too many weeks ago.  I did not share a tear for him.  I do not mourn the loss.  I don’t know if my dad was a bad person.  I don’t know if someone like he was even knew he was doing anything wrong.  I don’t know if he had enough of whatever it takes to realize that other people have feelings and basic rights.  Over the last ten or so years of his life we, well more I than we, forged an odd relationship.  It was built to fit the shape of his personality.  I adapted.  We had an odd relationship talking about just about everything but what needed to be talked about.  He sorta expressed regrets for which, had it been my regrets, I would have made it completely evident that I was sorry.  Not do with him.  He didn’t want to talk much about the past.   So there is a big hole in my family history, perhaps I am better off that way.  What I do know about my dad’s and mother’s family history makes me wish I was adopted.

But he was a part of my life.

Maybe not the happiest part of my life.

Yet even with the baggage I still found a bit of comfort in the continuity in my life via the sound of his voice.

And today when I thought I’d call him and get some of that continuity, I remembered he is dead.

Treat people in a manner that will allow them to remember you with fondness when you are gone.

Doing OK,
Billie

VOLUNTEERING

2016 09 22

Every year Grand Rapids, MI has an art festival unlike anything you could imagine.  Art Prize is an open art competition in four categories with prizes of $12,500 for each category judged by professional judges and $12,500 for each category judged by people’s choice.  In addition to that there is a $200,000 first place prize for the top pick in the professional judging and another $200,000 top pick prize in the people’s choice category.  So there is an incentive to be creative.

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At lunch before the mandatory training meetings.

Art Prize is independently funded non profit.  If any public funds are involved, they would be more for any increased traffic control or something like that.  The crowds are generally well behaved.  people actually patiently waiting in line.  West Michigan at it’s best.

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At lunch the day of our first Welcoming shift.

 

 

 

The entries range from paintings to digital media.  From a small sculpture to entire buildings.  From inanimate to people in the art.

This is all run by a thousand or so volunteers plus a small paid staff.  Very small.

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My Volunteer outfit before the horrible color travesty.

 

 

It encompasses most of the Grand Rapids downtown area and a few outlying exhibits.  All is free and open to the public.  The museus that normally charge are free.  The art is in the Art Museum, The City Museum, The Children’s Museum, banks, bars, stores, outside, in the river, on top of bridges, is fountains, is inside the fountains, in a freezer, on a roof, is the City.

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OMG!  ORANGE!!!!
Who would pick such a difficult color to coordinate with?  Well I SUPPOSE it is to draw attention to the volunteers.  Otherwise I would probably go unnoticed.

 

 

Grand Rapids is a GREAT place to visit and a GREAT place to live.  But please don’t move here as the city is at a just right size now.

Amy Pond and I will be working the information center one day a week for the month long event.  Working enfemme.  About 30,000 people attend per day.  We will be right OUT there literally in view of THOUSANDS of people!   I love that!

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Regaining my color coordination composure at a local pub.

 

 

 

In a way, Amy and I will be art too.  Exhibits for all to see.  Members of a large group  placed somewhere on the trans spectrum not by our choice.  So we will be OUT and enfemme and ambassatrix for the LGBTQ community.  Perhaps the only part of that “T” that most of the General Population (GP) ever sees.  When they ask the inevitable questions about us (gay?, married?!?!, 24/7?, is something the matter with yoy?,and the like) we could be crabby, answer with a scowl, be impolite, aloof.  OR we could be friendly, open, accessible, and informative.  Leave them with a higher comfort level than they came in with.  THAT i what we prefer to do.  We may be helping a gay person, trans person, or someone somewhere in the LGBTQ community.  Because we are all better off advocating for each other with the GPs.

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Much better!

 

 

Feel free to leave comments on this blog.  You may also tell me if you prefer that your comments be private.  As the all powerful blogger I get to decide what shows up on the blog.  Compliments are appreciated.  Suggestions are encouraged.  Criticism will result in an army of minions beating down your door.  (Just kidding!)

You can also email me at
Crossdressers-wmi@hotmail.com

The Grand Illusions website is at:
http://www.crossdressersmichigan.com

SUCH FUN!
Billie

A MAJOR FORK IN THE ROAD

2016 09 20

The last month has been a wild ride.
My dad died.

I don’t think he ever got the concept that bad things we do to other people have ramifications that go long after we lose interest.  He left a lot of debris.

There is so much to deal with.  I don’t think I will ever be able to be totally free of the pain.  Things I saw, you can not imagine.

Maybe six months ago he asked me if I remembered something he did to me that was inexcusable.  Something he did after I was no longer living with him.  I only replied “VIVIDLY!”.  He never apologized, just said “Well we all do things we regret.”

To be fair, he did regret his actions.  He did make apologies.  He did try.  But some damage can’t be repaired.  Some wounds leave scars that never go away.  My dad was very powerfully built, I was always physically and in personality more like my mother.  I was 32 years old before I was no longer afraid of him.

So when you see me having crossdressing fun, perhaps it is my way to escape the past.  To escape the things I can’t change.  To be happy for a time.  Please be kind.

Billie