Choices, Choices, Choices




I have to start early getting ready. Time and gravity have taken their toll on me, rsz9693along with having to work LONG hours for many decades.  But with enough effort I can rsz9694

usually make up for some of this and look half decent.  But it takes time to reduce the effects of time.  Now I am confused.rsz9702


I like to create a day based on a color theme as it makes the purse, shoes, nails, rsz9703lips, and jewelry colors more consistent.  Even the leg color (stockings) is easier.  I usually start the day before by trying on and rsz9705selecting my outfits.  I always have three or four outfits selected and ready to go with all but one packaged up in garment bags and boxes divided up for the outfits.  Like a dress, or a suit, or a skirt and top on hangers rsz9709in a cleaners bag.  And for that outfit the shoes, jewelry, purse, and any other related items in a box.  Times two or three depending on how hopeful I am of getting a few rsz9711changes in.  Then all of this goes in the car the day before.  It only takes an hour or two to do this.

rsz9713Why so many outfits?  I find that the cut of the clothes makes a different experience.  A dress with a tiny bit of spandex in a heavier polyester fabric feels different when OUT rsz9714than a cotton dress.  And short sleeves feel different than long sleeves, or no sleeves and a shrug.  A dress suit with blazer feels different than a skirt suit.  And throw in the rsz9715different weights of fabric, the glossy fabrics differ from the coarse fabrics, all feel different.  Then the narrow skirt vs the full skirt and the hem length.  And the shoes all have a rsz9724different personality.  Heel height, toe box shape, D’orsay, sandals, and for all rsz9725no platform or a platform, and the various heights.  So may differing experiences in the infinite variety of wearables.

And then the colors.  OMG how I LOVE the spring rsz9727and summer colors!  White, hot pink, yellow (swoon), reds, bright blue, and the pastels.  I FEEL different in the same dress in different colors!  And matching shoes, purse OMG!  Bliss!

Why Is This So Much FUN?!??!!!!!

So all this stuff is pre selected and at the ready.

Then there is the all over shaving.  If you do this you know the sensuousness of the slip, the liners, the stockings.  Nuff said there.

rsz9729Then the foundation garments.  I LOVE a corset.  I love the weight of the forms.  I love the padded panties.  Because my gravity becomes so much different.  Going on my world changes, coming off it changes again.  And I have to stand, walk, sit rsz9736different with and without.  I experience life, just being, from a new perspective.  An adventure!

So as I get ready I begin to see and feel a change in me.  I relax and the alpha M goes in to the background.  The other side of the ying/yang rsz9741comes to the fore.  And I start smiling near the end.  OMG I am completely AMAZED at the totally different way I look!  But it takes a LOT of steps.  And most of it is in the eyes.  There is where I really see the change!  And once I glue on the eyelashes, I can FEEL the change!

The last thing I do are my nails.  It takes about 30 minutes to do my nails.

Then I go OUT the door.  And the first time I get the breeze on my legs, the change in temperatures from my head to my toes with or without a breeze, OMG!  I LOVE THIS!

And then I get around twelve hours of enfemme time.

rsz9742The outfits?  I change around mid afternoon.  Again at around six ish for dinner.  And again at around nine ish ending up in clubwear.

I have a HUGE wardrobe and this is the only way I will get to experience it all.  And I added a red ¾ sleeve bodycon dress, a green one, a tiered string skirt, and a lavender handkerchief gown to my collection this last weekend.  Oh and a silver coarse weave skirt suit with silver metallic threads running through it.  I am SO happy and SO conscious that I must STOP buying clothes!  Even though everything was very much on sale!

rsz9745We have to make sacrifices yes?

Because the last Grand Illusions get together was a Spring Pink theme, I kept my makeup lighter.  Unfortunately the lighter makeup fades out in the camera.  But I felt good and to me I looked good (enough).  So for better or worse, this is sort of what I looked like.  You can see rsz9746some of the photos were with the flash which really washes out the already light makeup.  Pink just does not show up well.  I am going to have to experiment with more pink colors to see which show up the best.

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The Seamstress


I have been doing a LOT of sewing on my wardrobe. Usually the skirts and dresses are too long and the skirt waists are too big. So I have to hem nearly everything up and take in most of the waists in. Shortening is easy if the skirt or dress is a coarse cloth and has no liner. Maybe one in ten are like this. If the material is a knit the task is much more difficult because sewing knit with ease requires a machine I don’t have. But I manage. And if the piece has a liner, especially a nylon tricot liner, then the project is at least double the work. But I still manage.

DSCN5741 (2)I bought a skirt suit at Macy’s in Chicago, on sale. A GLORIOUS pastel yellow in a coarse knit with embroidered cutout lace collar, lapels, cuffs, and hem. Gloriously beautiful. It was an EXPENSIVE suit, like $280.00. NO, I did not pay anything like that, with coupons I got it for just $25.00. But still, I was apprehensive knowing what I was going to do. When I got home I took that skirt apart, shortened it from the waist, remember the embroidered cutout lace at the hem, and took the waist in. All the while respecting that this garment I am working on, at full price, cost some woman somewhere a couple of day’s wages. And here I am, cutting it apart. But it turned out great. And I felt SO GOOD when I wore it.

I found a FABULOUS white satin ball gown or wedding dress. It has a purple band around the top and around the hem. But it is too short by maybe six inches. And no straps, just strapless. Otherwise it is a dream, and at $9.99 at GWs, a bargain. So beautiful. What to do? I took it to a fabric store and found a purple satin that was the correct appearance IF I used it wrong side out. The BACK side of the fabric looked right. And I found some white satin close to the right appearance. So I am making a band to go around the bottom with a white and purple horizontal ring. This will be attached with hand stitches and be long enough that I will have to pick it up to walk. The hand stitches will make it removable so I can clean just the bottom. I will make straps and a wrap too. In June there is a “White Party” the night before Grand Rapids Pride. I will wear it to that. I already had matching purple patent ankle strap platform Mary Janes. (One reason why it was too short?) SO MUCH FUN!

I found a pastel blue leather skirt at GWs. $2.99. I have never even seen any leather skirts in colors other than red, black, and brown. I have a red and a black leather skirt already. The search for a brown one goes on. Leather skirts are fun because they don’t move like cloth. They have a mind of their own. A pastel blue skirt would be spring color in an unusual for spring fabric.

But alas the skirt was a size 8. And LONG, mid calf.

Then I measured it. I carry a three foot keychain measuring tape attached to my purse when I shop so I can quickly measure items and determine if there is even a chance of them fitting. The skirt was almost a skater skirt, certainly it was flared and had a generous full hem. But the top was WAY too small. And it was WAY too long. Wait a minute!   I see a way!

So I bought the skirt and took it back home to my sewing area. I have a heavy duty sewing machine set up on a small table always ready with my sewing kit, bobbin cases, thread spool bin, and notions bin, all nearby. I measured where the skirt would be the correct waist and marked a location around the top. Adding enough for a seam, I cut the leather. I took the waistband out of the skirt and, using a bit of the surplus leather fabric, extended it to the required length. The liner is nylon tricot and HORRIBLE to work with, like most every liner I have encountered. It would be easier if I had a serger, but I managed to shorten it from the top, barely managed to sew it to the extended waistband, and then sewed both as a unit backwards and upside down on to the skirt. Now turning the skirt right side out, the waist band folds over and the liner folds over to be the correct position inside the skirt. And then sew the zipper back in.

This was a LOT of work. Only a crazy gal would consider this. Nuff said?

DSCN9597 (2)But I had not ever seen a pastel blue leather skirt and I am going to enjoy wearing it this spring at DRAB to FABulous.

DSCN9599 (2)





Oh and I have a top already. And blue shoes, belt, hat, purse, jewelry, and spring jacket to match.

DSCN9602 (2)This is……………….

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My Day OUT Enfemme

2016 03 07

They expect, no demand that I post frequently. It can HONLY bee cause I writ sowl whelll!

rsz_dscn9562_2Friday was another wonderful day to be OUT enfemme experiencing the world in something that is technically completely dressed but in reality is effectively half nekked. I mean, starting from the top: a hat, wig, coat/blazer, foundation garments, dress, then ……………nothing………………… From where the foundation garments end, well, there is NO insulation from there on down. So when I step outside, even when sitting in my car, before it is warm, my thighs on down! BRRRR!

It was TWENTY DEGREES outside!

But the sun was out! In West Michigan! Must have been an anomaly! And when the sun hit my legs, OMG! Bliss! So alternately my legs and feet were cold, then colder, then warmed by the sun but still cold, then cold and immobile after I got in the car, then warm at the ankles only when the heater finally whimped out a bit of warmth, right about at the store parking lot. Then cold as I got out of the car, and warm- er- in spots as I walked in the sun, then cool in the store then warm. But each time the door opened, thirty feet away, I could feel the cold air on my ankles when it travelled through the store. I never experienced anything like this covered from neck to toe to wrist. And let me tell you there is a temperature incentive to gathering the skirt in to the car and getting that door closed ASAP. Hurry to get the skirt and coat properly bundled as best as possible to insulate as much as possible. But with no hope for warmth from the lower thighs down. As sitting brings the hem up, precious leg real estate is exposed to the sub freezing temperatures. Head warm, CHECK. Torso warm, CHECK. Arms warm, sorta. Hands and face, no difference from drab. Upper thighs, check. Lower thighs, check. Knees, nope! Lower legs, NOPE! Feet, NO WAY! Until the heater again gets going. Then my ankles, ONLY my ankles, are warm.


I LOVE the differences in me when I am OUT enfemme. I can’t walk as easily when in heels. I have to take small steps, I have to pay attention to what I am stepping on. Going up steps is almost the same for my feet, but I have to be aware if someone can see up my skirt. But going down steps is way different. And in guy I am completely isolated from all sensations except my head and hands. Enfemme there are sensations everywhere. Even the coarse cloth is replaced by sensuous fabrics where the eye can’t see. Bracelets, earrings, necklace, the weight of the forms, the shoulder straps, the corset, stockings, heels, ankle bracelet, carrying a purse, wearing a big hat, the “hair” on my neck. And the different temperatures depending on where I am and the bare legs. Or maybe only partially bare depending on the boot shaft height. Plus I have to manage my appearance frequently. Get out of the car, everything in place? Check. Hold on to my hat so it doesn’t blow away. Walking to the store, everything NOT blowing open or worse, UP? Check. In the store, check hair not blown into a mess. Bring the brush out, stop by a mirror, hat off, brush. Hat back on. Coat off and draped over arm. Recheck everything. Hem down? Check. Off I go. Walk through the mall. The second floor is a railing on glass at an opening down to the first floor. This is the entire second floor. In a skirt or dress, if I walk close to that glass, someone down below could have quite the view. So I have to be careful there. Same way with the escalators. And I have to remember to ride feet together. Walk little steps, feet in a line, just the right sway.   Arms pivoting mostly at the elbows. Head high, back straight, leading with the lower body. Eyes straight ahead. Click click, swish, swish. I love the experiences.

rsz_dscn9564_2ESPECIALLY when no one even gives me a second glance. ESPECIALLY when they see what I am trying to make them see. When I blend in. When it all works it is…………



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