I AM JUST A CROSSDRESSER
I am just a Crossdresser. I do it purely for fun. I see a lot of anguish in those who have more “skin in the game” than I do. I am fortunate to be able to help if just by providing, through our Group “The Grand Illusions” a safer means of presenting themselves as female for those whom this is not “just fun”. And at times compassion, understanding, a hug, just listening, I can help one on one. I might be a poor imitation of a woman, I might be taking just the best parts of the TS, but my heart isn’t a poor imitation and I know how easy I have it compared to the real TS.
I also see some debris from a life of undeserved shame, guilt, rejection, secrecy for those who have been cross dressing for most of their lives. I feel a guilty pleasure that I avoided all of that. I do this just for fun. So with a joyous heart I can, through our Group, provide a safer means of presenting themselves for those who paid a much higher price than I.
Yet even though I do this just for fun, I too have experienced some rejection, loss, and verbal abuse for merely expressing myself. Not anywhere near those who have lived nearly a lifetime of turmoil. But I have had enough pain to allow me to understand.
It is a pity that every man isn’t required to experience what life is like for females and the TS community. Part of it for the “just fun” and part of it for the sobering realizations.
I feel so fortunate that I am “just a Crossdresser”. And a blog to communicate through.
When I am OUT n about people approach me and ask me questions. The first is “Do you do this all the time?.” My answer is usually like this: “No, I do this for fun, maybe once a week. But there are people who do this because they have a need to do this. The X – Y chromosome thing isn’t as well defined as some would believe. After all, we know through our observations things are rarely black or white. Only the digital world is binary.” Then they ask if I am gay. I tell them that this is not about sex or sexual orientation. It is about dressing like we feel. Next they ask if I am married and if so does my wife know, to which I answer: “Yes and she knows, that I keep no secrets from her, that she is the center of my universe, and I would quit immediately rather than lose her. But some are unable to reveal themselves for fear of rejection from family, religious persecution at their church, job loss, divorce, and peer pressure. They must live in fear of discovery.” The next question usually is would I like to be a woman. I tell them that although I am content being a guy and experiencing the world like my poor imitation of a woman, others have a real need to get the inside to match the outside. The may tell me of a friend, grandchild, a child, a relative, or someone they know who seems “feminine for a boy” and rarely “masculine for a girl”. Rarely because most of the time that is just thought of as a “tom boy” but for a boy it is more obvious as “too girlish”. This is my chance to help someone I will never meet. I try to convey the non binary concept, that these people are just being themselves, that they are not a threat, that they just want to be allowed to live life with the cards dealt to them. That they are valuable members of society just asking to be allowed to find their happiness. How can we deny that?
I feel so lucky.
Crossdressing need not be a crises for everyone involved. Sure some guys want to go the Full Monty and become women. But the vast majority of crossdressers that I encounter just want to have fun, like Cindy Lauper’s song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
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